Thursday, January 29, 2009

Frankie Machine: Right Again!

It wasn't just me!
Nearly half of Americans would like to live someplace else

Dog bites man, right? That's the American way: Pulling up stakes and moving on. I'll grant you that. But I really like the list of cities:
Some of the most and least popular cities in the survey:

Most Popular:

• Denver (43 percent)

• San Diego (40 percent)

• Seattle (38 percent)

• Orlando (34 percent)

• San Francisco (34 percent)

• Tampa (34 percent)

Least Popular

• Detroit (8 percent)

• Cleveland (10 percent)

• Cincinnati (13 percent)

• Kansas City (15 percent)

• Minneapolis (16 percent)

• Pittsburgh (17 percent)

Oh, Gosh. I thought Minnesotans loved their little piece of tundra paradise. Turns out, they don't. Nobody else likes it there, either. And once again, I was right.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Things I Learned In Business School

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

Abraham Lincoln
16th president of US (1809 - 1865)

There I was, in class today, following a professor's explanation of how to analyze a financial statement. I was writing the key points and revelations in my notebook, listening intently, and honestly learning.
I was so wrapped up in the experience I didn't see it happen.
Someone raised his hand and asked a question.
At the conclusion of his sentence, I was actually less knowlegeable than I had been before.
This is because he was trying to appear smart and asked an irrelevant question which clouded the topics the teacher was trying to cover. I can't remember the exact question because, like I said, the question killed some of my brain cells. And this brings us to today's Thing I Learned In Business School:
Only listen to people who know what they are talking about.
The professor is very well respected, and he was attempting to lay a foundation of understanding and fundamentals that could permit a student to ask good questions later on in their careers. Good questions, like:
"Who the hell makes money off of these derivatives?"
"Gee, Mr. Skilling. Why should I trust you?"

Instead, people who were asking these questions when they were pertinent and could have helped us avoid the shit rain that we see today were drowned out because people with money to invest were listening to people who did not know what they were talking about.

Follow that?

Part of being a mature person is having the ability to separate the wheat from the chaff, and recognizing when listening is more important than picking up some participation points. I used to get chastised when I would withhold comment on a speaker or not raise my hand in class with spastic frequency. I'd just write it off to being a nice Midwestern native, a son of the Heartland or something. Turns out, I was actually not getting stupid. Whether I was getting smart is up in the air, but I can definitely say I did not interfere with someone else's learning. And some days, not getting stupid puts you ahead of the competition. And that's a Thing I Learned In Business School.

Friday, January 23, 2009

"A Smut Magazine."

Another great letter to the editor.
Regarding the political cartoon on the Opinions page of The Press' Jan. 11 edition, the depiction of an almost nude man (Leon Panetta, President Obama's choice to head the CIA) covered only by a fig leaf over his private area which states "CIA Experience" belongs not in a municipal newspaper but rather in a smut magazine. Regardless of political persuasion, The Press should not allow such degrading depiction's of any person in the public eye and/or service. You should be ashamed.

I think the word "smut" is a shibboleth for the elderly. Nobody under the age of Leeching Off Social Security uses that word. The term nowadays is "porn." It's what all the kids say.

So, out of curiosity, I looked all over the internet for any evidence to back up my theory. I Googled the name of the writer, John Koehler, of Byron Center. Sure enough, he's almost 80. I won't name the site I used, since I don't believe in free advertising on this site. Trust me on this or check it out for yourself.

So, the lessons for today are:
1. The elderly are back to complaining about lewd pictures on the editorial page. Man, it's good to have a Democrat back in the White House.
2. If somebody uses the word "smut," run away from that person. You've just had a brush with the Elderly Menace

Sunday, January 18, 2009

President Obama

This picture makes me very happy.
Let's start fixing things!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Another old person letter to the editor.

And it's a doozy.

I prayed the words Jesus taught us over and over and asked our Father above to help us through the next four years until we can correct our terrible mistake.

As she slept on my shoulder, I hugged her tight. Why did we do it? I think because the price of gas went up and the economy took a cyclical plunge.

I bet if each voter had a one year old hug before they went into the booth, the result would have been much different.

Good responses in the comments, though.

On a non-related note, this man is why I hate clowns:

Remember, he's federally funded. And lives in a van. Down by the river.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Um, HBO?

I was checking out the lineup for the concert celebrating the inauguration of a politician from the South Side of Chicago. I found this:

Mary J. Blige
Garth Brooks
Sheryl Crow
Renee Fleming
Josh Groban
Herbie Hancock
Heather Headley
John Legend
Jennifer Nettles
John Mellencamp
Usher Raymond IV
Bruce Springsteen
James Taylor
Stevie Wonder

How Garth Brooks gets on that list, and not a single blues musician, is so far beyond me I can't begin to describe it.
Buddy Guy?
Koko Taylor?
I could go on. Those are just two musicians from Chicago who you could call on. And those are off the top of my head. And who does HBO get? Garth Brooks.

The more things change, etc.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Got an iPhone? A Blackberry? A new Palm thing?

Good, because now you can access this blog in all its mean and bitter glory wherever you are. On the subway, at a coffeehouse, on a 16-hour Amtrak ride, at the police station. Wherever your adventures take you. Just click on the link titled "Positively Unemployed for Mobile Devices" in the right sidebar.

Have fun out there.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Blog recommendation

Scott Meets the Family Circus.

A blog that gets updated about as frequently as this one. I guess because "Scott" actually has to put creativity, time, and talent into his creations, whereas my posts are either divinely inspired or spontaneous explosions of rage.

In the latest from Scott Meets the Family Circus: