Now It Can Be Told!

Ol' Frankie Machine is the subject of a feature in Minnesota Monthly magazine. Despite not getting mentioned by name, or a cover photo, I think "Scoop" Enright has many years of quality journalisizing ahead of him.

State of Disgrace
Next May, Minnesota will hit the century-and-a-half mark. But not everyone will be celebrating, it seems. The MNMO staff recently came across an online petition demanding that the Land of 10,000 Lakes be ejected from the union. Among the charges:

» “The residents consider themselves [more] proud to be Scandinavian...than...American.”
» “There is an unbelievably high ratio of dirty ignorant yokels to people with brains.”
» “Most residents drink Hamm’s beer.”

The redress proposed by the wag behind the petition? Revoke Minnesota’s statehood, divvy up our 10 congressional seats, post guards on the Wisconsin border, and turn Minnesota into a protectorate of Norway. (Hmmm, wouldn’t Canada be a better fit?)

Tracked down via e-mail, the 32-year-old author, who recently moved to Minneapolis from Chicago and asked for anonymity, confessed he had posted the petition mostly in spite, alleging a generally snooty attitude among Minnesotans. So far, however, the petition has only drawn 26 signatures, so it’s probably a safe bet that the North Star state will last another 150 years or more. To view the petition, log on to www.ipetitions.com/petition/kickoutMN.

—MIKE ENRIGHT

Link here. (Scroll down.)

To prove my point, the magazine had an unrelated writeup below the story about me. It begins:

Luverne, a town of 4,600 near the South Dakota border, is best known for its buffalo chip–throwing contest.