Sunday, October 29, 2006

Little sick today.

This is a funny old person story.
Here's why.
An old person got wounded by gang crossfire.

That's horrible, you'd say (except if you're a dedicated reader of this blog). Gang crossfire is deadly!
Not if they're using ROCKS instead of guns.

DENVER -- An elderly woman was injured during a confrontation between suspected gang members, Denver police said.
Police said a group of men were throwing rocks at a home at St. Paul and 50th Street in Denver Saturday.
The men were apparently trying to get the attention of rival gang members, police said.

Denver, I don't know what to tell you.

Do you know how many cities would love to have gangs that throw rocks at each other? That's not even gang activity. That's called "recess" where I come from.
So, good job controlling gangs to the point where they throw rocks at each other and can't even do that right. These gangstas can't even hit a house with a rock.

Maybe they don't have much to fight over now that the meth market is entirely based in Minneapolis.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

The elderly menace

In the words of Bono:
How long
how long must we sing this song?

Elderly driver strikes three churchgoers
Maine State Police Trooper Luke Cunningham said Carleen Murphy, 74, of Stockton Springs, her granddaughter, Michelle Gray, 24, of Stockton Springs, and Alberta Lawry, 69, of Deer Isle, were all hit as they walked toward the church, by a Toyota Corolla, being driven by Pearl Seekins, 84, of Searsport.

Yank her license and put her in old person jail, I say.

Hey, there's a business idea: old person jail. I'm going to pitch that to the government. See if I can get some sweet sweet tax dollars to build a minimum-security prison for old people who attack indiscriminately with their cars.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Video for the Overnight

And for all those privy to the inside joke...

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Thank you, Czar

For pointing out this little gem from today's Presidential press conference.
Fuzzy Math.
Take the child tax credit; if it is not made permanent, in other words, if it expires, and you got a family of four sitting around the breakfast table, the taxpayers can be sure that their taxes will go up by $2,000 -- $500 for that child, $500 for the one right there, $500 for this one, and $500 for that one. That is a tax increase. And taking $2,000 out of the pockets of the working people will make it harder to sustain economic growth.

Idiot. A family of four includes the parents.

Unless both parents are off fighting in Iraq.

Monday, October 23, 2006

It's "Go" Time

There will be no posting on this blog on election day.
If you come here to read my incitements to riot on that day, and you haven't voted for a non-Republican, I'm gonna put a Bridgeport Beatdown on you so bad.

Here's some words to get you reachin for your ass-kickin' boots. From Pat Tillman's brother:
Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.

Somehow the most reasonable, trusted and respected country in the world has become one of the most irrational, belligerent, feared, and distrusted countries in the world.

Somehow being politically informed, diligent, and skeptical has been replaced by apathy through active ignorance.

Somehow the same incompetent, narcissistic, virtueless, vacuous, malicious criminals are still in charge of this country.

Somehow this is tolerated.

Somehow nobody is accountable for this.

In a democracy, the policy of the leaders is the policy of the people. So don’t be shocked when our grandkids bury much of this generation as traitors to the nation, to the world and to humanity. Most likely, they will come to know that “somehow” was nurtured by fear, insecurity and indifference, leaving the country vulnerable to unchecked, unchallenged parasites.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

More from this hole.

Well, at least they reversed the decision.
Metro Transit issued a statement Friday expressing regret for its decision to accommodate a Minneapolis bus driver who had asked to drive buses free of gay advertising.
Well, the Republicans are having their convention here, so along with shutting down the libraries, the city must be sure that people don't have to be anywhere near a picture of a gay person.

And there is this from the sane oppressed minority in this crapburg.
Next step: allowing bus drivers to determine who must sit in the back of the bus.

And in Japanese elderly watch,the elderly are now resorting to biological warfare:
A seventy-year-old woman has been charged under waste disposal laws after admitting to taking garbage bags from a disposal point and emptying the contents on local resident's front gardens.

Friday, October 20, 2006

A Poverty of Values.

In an effort to prove that Minneapolis is a welcoming city for the Republican Convention, they're closing down libraries. City officials deny that an opening night "bonfire" has any connection to these closings.

Strapped for cash to operate 15 libraries, including the city's new $125 million Central Library, the library board's finance committee voted Wednesday to make the cuts that would close downtown's Central Library on Mondays and shut down the Roosevelt, Southeast and Webber Park branches.

Dear Minneapolis:
You no longer get to claim you are a town of educated Midwest enlightenment. You are a city of suckers, rubes, and dullards.
I'll explain it to you in simple words, so you can understand.
Libraries hold books and other things (like the computer you're using to read this, and newspapers, and other papers that hold words and pictures). With enough time, a person can learn things from these libraries. Science things, for example. And art things.
You know that big set of building just across the river from where the Twins and Vikings play? Yeah, you call it "the U," I know. But do you know what "U" stands for? It stands for University. The thing about universities is that they admit people who know about science and art things. If you, as a city, cut down the availability of hours that kids can use these libraries, they may not get to go to a university. You wouldn't want that, would you?

But you would. You do.
I know this because you would rather spend your money on new sports arenas.
Like this one.
Tuesday's action, which was greeted with applause, does not require a referendum and opens the way for the team and the county to move forcefully toward building the $522 million open-air stadium in downtown Minneapolis in time for a 2010 opening.

I'll run those numbers by you: $522 million for a new stadium.
$125 million for a new library that is about to have its hours reduced. In fact, a lot of people agree with me:
Hadley said that in a recent public survey the library conducted, nearly 80 percent of respondents said they would support a property-tax increase to pay for Minneapolis libraries.

So, all you want your kids to know about is Twins' ERAs and Vikings success inside the Red Zone. Is it because you don't want them to know about the world outside of Minnesota? Are you afraid that they'lll find out how much of a craphole their hometown is? Why do you want to hold your children back?

Or maybe you really do prize sports above learning. Maybe you do take real pride in your sports teams' accomplishments. Chew on this then: Detroit is in the World Series.

Get back to me when you want to reconsider your priorities.


Frankie Machine

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

The Flashback Blues

This picture was taken back when B-licious and ol' Frankie Machine ran their syndicate.

Catchin' Up

Unfunny Comic Strip of the Day

Statin' the Obvious U of C alum of the Day
George W. Bush has betrayed America. He is no Christian himself, which is why he mocks real Christians. Christians should be ashamed for supporting such a Judas.
Way to catch up on what everyone knew back in 2000. Your bold iconoclastic words are an inspiration.

Another degenerate old person.
Police alleged Williams first spoke to the woman before exposing himself to her in Waratah Street on September 30.

Then, two weeks later - on October 13 - the man allegedly followed the same woman into Katoomba's Kingsford Smith Park and exposed himself to her again.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Grease, and Grease 2, suck donkey

Due to a brain shutdown this weekend, resulting from a massive workload this past week, I found myself in front of a rerun of the movies Grease and Grease 2.
I viewed them with the clinical eye of a good sociologist. I played Margaret Mead, if you will.
Those movies are bad for America.

As a reflection of the times they portray, they are propoganda. You know why? Everybody in those two movies is WHITE. Why did those producers choose to depict Jenison, Michigan? Check out this picture.

No African Americans or Hispanics or Asian-Americans. I may not be an expert in history, but I'm pretty sure that by 1960, those three groups were in substantial number across the fruited plain. So there's that. There can be only one conclusion drawn about Grease: the movie takes place at a segregated high school. With all the singing and dancing, it's easy to see the producer's attitude toward that chapter in American history: the kids loved it.

I recommend if you want a non-racist view of the high school music of the time, you rent La Bamba.

Furthermore, do the math on the ages of the "students" in the movie. I'll give you a minute.
Come on, this isn't the GRE.
I'll give you a hint. They all grew up to be Baby Boomers. The Pink Ladies and the T-Birds and The Fonz, I mean Danny Zucco, all grew up into the hypocritical selfish ruin-bringing Bush-electing fucks who have been on Earth way too long. No wonder Baby Boomers wank off over this movie: it makes them think they were once "cool" (and they define cool by doing the hand jive, in case you've forgotten).
Those cigarettes they all smoke? They grew up to tax the crap out of them.
The only one who didn't was Eugene, the nerd, who grew up to be Bill Gates. So fuck you, Thunderbirds. He can buy and sell your greaser asses many times over. I think one of them grew up into Neil Young , too, but I'm not sure.

Good God am I profane this afternoon.

So, in these two movies shoved down our throats as good old fashioned Americana, a racially pure high school gets depicted as a wonderland of singing and dancing and consequence free Aryan sex.

Bravo, Hollywood, Why don't you let Mel Gibson direct Grease 3?

Amway Nation, part etc.

Dear Michigan:
Thank you for finally seeing what a crock of crap this Devos fraud is peddling.
Maybe it was the summer heat that caused his spike in the polls, but the cool of autumn, and a winning U of M football team, seem to be making you think of the universe in terms that aren't batshit crazy.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Old people under the glass.

I laughed all the way through this.

But what really got me was this.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

I'm still here.

Unfunny Comic Strip of the Day

Ignominious U of C Alum of the Day
A graduate of the University of Chicago Law School with a prodigious political mind, Juliano acknowledged that, through his actions, he had smashed his lifelong dream of someday working in a presidential administration or in other federal service.

"I will forever be known as a supporting character in one of the most ignominious chapters in Illinois' political history," he said.

Old people make the worst rappers.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Take my poll.

I am seriously considering having T-shirts sold through cafe press, and need to gauge the market.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Been a week...

of NEEDING to get out of here. An it's some comfort to know I am not alone.

Minnesota Sucks!
The purpose of this Web site is to once and for all proclaim that Minnesota -- the self-proclaimed Mecca of America -- is little more than tossover human trash from other States!

I feel a strong sense of duty at being able to say in words what so many people sense when they come to Minnesota for perhaps the first ... and only ... time in their life, to visit the Mall of America.

I Hate This State.

A Short List:

4. There is not a single cool person from Minnesota. There are plenty of cold people (see #1), myself included, but that's different. I've lived here for over one and a half years, and the majority of the cool people I've met are from Michigan! Usually when you go to write a list of "100 reasons why something sucks", you have to really get creative. Not so with Minnesota! Christ, this is MICHIGAN that's whipping your ass in the cool people department. What's next, South Dakota wins the "Separation of Church and State" award of the year?
8. Rent & cost of living is expensive! WHY?!?! There are no beaches, or hot women, or fantastic jobs. However there are frozen lakes, lots of babies, and nutjobs. They should be paying me to live here!

9. Lack of cool states nearby. North Dakota, South Dakota, Iowa, Wisconsin, and Canada? All of them suck! At least Somalia has pirates, why can't Somalia be Minnesota's neighbor? Think of all the rich bastards in their sailboats on the Great Lakes that they could rape and plunder.

10. Lack of polar bears. It's practically the North Pole here, at least give us some polar bears to terrorize the homogenous white population here. Maybe if their babies regularly got eaten, they'd stop pooping out so many of them.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Brief Check-in

Haven't had time to do jack lately.
But you need to know this:
The elderly are fueling this meth epidemic.
SAN YSIDRO, Calif. -- An 83-year-old woman was among three people arrested on suspicion of trying to smuggle nearly $500,000 worth of methamphetamine through the San Ysidro Port of Entry, officials said Thursday.

At least there's a kindred spirt somewhere out there.
I lived in Minnesota for 2 years; the worst 2 years of my life, in fact. It’s where I met my ex-wife.
I can count the number of good, decent, worthwhile people I met there on one hand, you are not among them.
I hate Minnesota, and I hate you too.

Your template is lame, and your content is purile.

If you put half the effort into your blog that you put into you self-absorbed whining, you might actually have something worth wiping my butt with; instead, you have a blog that is barely worth me taking the time to acknowledge its existence.

The only reason I’m writing this re-review is because I know I can insult you to your face with it.

Do us all a favor: delete your so-called blog, then run your computer through a wood chipper.

Don’t forget to get a job, you lutafisk-eating waste of space!

There you go, you self-absorbed, whiney child, you!


Sunday, October 01, 2006

Two Good Craigslist Posts

From Minneapolis:
It made me sick to my stomach that so many able bodied people could look at these people who desperately could have used their seat and did nothing. If I were the parents of one of those two kids, I would have personally removed one of your fat asses from your seats.

From Grand Rapids:
When I first came to the city, I never knew what the names DeVos or VanAndel were associated with, but once I learned where their great amounts of wealth came from, I felt like Martin Luther looking in on the wealth and spoils of Rome.