Pruneface and Women.

Man, Fred Thompson is a real dick.
He uses the news of an assassination to try to score political points against Hillary Clinton. Jesus, Fred. Show some fuckin' humanity.
Oh, wait. I forgot I'm talking about this guy:

Where do I begin?

Grampaw Fred Thompson sure is frikkin' cranky.

After a quick meeting with the staff of the newspaper, Thompson climbs aboard the bus for the four-block drive to the gleaming new building that houses the fire department. He and Jeri walk down the line of firemen assembled to greet him. When someone presents him with a fireman's helmet to wear for a photo-op, Thompson holds the helmet away from him to get a good look at it and laughs. "I've got a silly-hat rule that I'm about to violate," he says, raising it toward his head before thinking better of it. "I ain't gonna do it," he says, laughing.

Well, Fred. I got a silly old man rule, and that's not going to get violated. How about WALKING four blocks, you fragile geezer?

Also pick a better campaign song. This one is horrible:

Ain't no tellin' where the wind might blow
Free and easy down the road I go
Livin' life like a Sunday stroll
Free and easy down the road I go
Free and easy down the road I go

Free? Easy? Blow? Are these the words we associate with the office of the presidency?

That's what we need in a President: Someone who lives like a Sunday Stroll. If I wanted that kind of philosophy, I'd be hanging out at the retirement center. And NOT mocking the residents.

The Ghost of Tom Joad

Nobody reads The Grapes of Wrath anymore.

ONTARIO, Calif., Dec 21 (Reuters) - Between railroad tracks and beneath the roar of departing planes sits "tent city," a terminus for homeless people. It is not, as might be expected, in a blighted city center, but in the once-booming suburbia of Southern California.
The noisy, dusty camp sprang up in July with 20 residents and now numbers 200 people, including several children, growing as this region east of Los Angeles has been hit by the U.S. housing crisis.
The unraveling of the region known as the Inland Empire reads like a 21st century version of "The Grapes of Wrath," John Steinbeck's novel about families driven from their lands by the Great Depression.
As more families throw in the towel and head to foreclosure here and across the nation, the social costs of collapse are adding up in the form of higher rates of homelessness, crime and even disease.
While no current residents claim to be victims of foreclosure, all agree that tent city is a symptom of the wider economic downturn. And it's just a matter of time before foreclosed families end up at tent city, local housing experts say.
"They don't hit the streets immediately," said activist Jane Mercer. Most families can find transitional housing in a motel or with friends before turning to charity or the streets. "They only hit tent city when they really bottom out."

One commenter over at Eschaton proposed that such encampments be called "Georgetowns." Ha ha.

My mind turns to too-easy-to-draw comparisons between 1939 and 2007.
Mike Huckabee can be Father Coughlin.
George Bush can be Hoover, but that would be insulting Hoover.
Halliburton and Blackwater can be the union-busting goons. (Oh, and they will be. Make book on it.)
Surprisingly, not too many people want to be Preacher Casey. We've seen what happens to people who do that.

Letters to the Editor

The Machines are heading back to Grand Rapids soon for the holidays, so I figured I'd check out the talk of the town in the Grand Rapids Press. Today was a banner day for people who like to read batshit craziness. I count my readers among that number, so I'll share:

Choose candidates wisely

Selection of political candidates dominates the news so I suspect people are trying to evaluate what they see and hear to make an intelligent choice. My concern is that because of misleading statements many will choose candidates for the wrong reasons.

One accepted chunk of nonsense is "exploration of working families by corporations." First of all, corporations don't do things, people do. A corporation is a type of business structure owned by stockholders who for the most part are institutions like pension funds and mutual funds owned by working people. They elect directors who choose management. There is an occasional bad-apple but how is it in their interest to exploit their owners?

Another favorite technique is to magnify historic grievances of groups to get their vote. First, the people who suffered are long gone and we have plenty of laws to prevent reoccurrence. Second, when has nursing, even legitimate hurts, increased our well-being or prosperity?

Ok, one more. Everyone likes freebies. Everyone hates war. So blame war on your opponent and promise to use the cost of war for government benefits. As has been said, "a government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. Is that what we want if we and our children aspire to become "Peters"?

Voters, please, choose a candidate who is knowledgeable, has management skills, is honorable in conduct, honest in word and deed, dutiful in service and respectful of the rights of all people, including those with an attached umbilical cord.

-- NORMAN J.E. ROE/Elk Rapids

Not a good moral

I have not seen "The Golden Compass" yet, and I don't plan to. After reading the Pulse letter "Wrong direction" (Dec. 13), I am even more convinced, being brought up in a Catholic family.

It bewilders me to know that people would pay money to see a movie by someone who doesn't believe in the creator of the universe, God. I hope that dissuades people from seeing "The Golden Compass."

Instead, why not see a movie that is fun to watch, has a good moral and is worth the money. I would suggest people see "Bee Movie." For those who have kids, or don't, it is fun to see by oneself.

-- NOAH VAN HARTESVELT/Grand Rapids

Handout is wrong answer

I am writing in response to the "Mother of triplets moves to Hastings apartment" (Press, Dec. 13).

Monica Roberts met a guy at a bar, had pre-martial sex and had three babies. On top of that she was homeless and living off the state. She claims she is a Christian. Part of being a Christian is to take accountability for one's actions, to be humble and unselfish. How is one (Monica Roberts) going to take responsibility for her actions if everyone else is handing out donations for her mistake?

I believe every child conceived is a blessing from God. Although every Christian sins every day, we also have to learn by fessing up and fixing our sins. I would rather have my tax dollars go to a single mom who works her butt off to provide for her children, and who is humble. This is why I believe some people who need the state's help cannot get it because it goes to women like Roberts.

The father has not stepped up to the plate, nor has Monica Roberts, everyone else has been providing for her along with her mother.

-- GENEVA R. WYNIA/Hudsonville

I make this offer now:
If Norm, Noah, or Geneva are reading this, they all owe me a drink when I roll into the Rust Belt. If they buy me a drink during my visit, I will repay the kindness by not knocking some sense into their heads.

DONE!

And I can say this now:
Campbell's Supper Bakes are the most horrid food ever invented.
I would prefer a three course meal of poison ivy salad, haggis, and cow pie to Cambell's Supper Bakes.

Seriously, Mr. Campbell. Stick to soup in a can.

Now comes the sweats

Finished my last exam.
Now the real hard stuff kicks off.

See you next Tuesday.

The Elderly Menace

This is all you need to know about Fred Thompson.

A Perfect Storm

Hey, Amtrak!
Nice try at trying to reduce the West Michigan Dutch population (and I mean that), but you're not going to help your case if your engineers keep smashing into other trains.

Amtrak passengers, many of them carrying winter coats and luggage, streamed off the train with the help of rescue workers. Some held the hands of children; others were taken away on stretchers and backboards.

Coert Vanderhill, 60, of Holland, Mich., said the train was approaching the station at 15 to 20 mph when the engine "just ran right up the tail end" of the freight train.

"Everybody just hit the seat in front of them," he said.

Vanderhill, who had come to Chicago to visit his children, had a small cut on his nose and said he and most of the other passengers were "walking wounded."

This story is one of those rare moments where many things that factor greatly in The Legend of Frankie Machine all converge.
1. Amtrak
2. Wounded old Dutch people
3. "University of Chicago Medical Center got 13 patients, three of them in serious to critical condition, spokesman John Easton said. "

I swear, I had nothing to do with this.