Quick U of C story

I know I haven't done a U of C alumni association hatedown in a while, so I'll scratch your itch.

A while back, in that horrible moldy wormbucket of a town called Minneapolis, I interviewed for a job.
I really needed it, because I had just found out how truly Minneapolis sucks, and my current job was the embodiment of that suckitude. I lied to my boss about having a doctor appointment, put on my best suit, dusted off the U of C portfolio and put forth a killer interview.
One of the interviewers was a charming gentleman who seemed to like me, and was (rightfully) impressed by my resume and demeanor.
Jack, I smoked that interview. I walked out thinking nobody could have done better than I had just done.
As with all things we are sure of in life, I got denied. Which sent me into even greater cursing of Minneapolis and its pig-loving natives.
Well, I did some random email browsing today, going through ol' Frankie Machine's files, and looked up the fellow's name.
It turns out he was a U of C alum.
Doesn't he know that as a fellow Maroon, he needs to hook up all alum in moments of desperation? Didn't the alumni association tell him he owes it to his brethren to give freely of aid and connections? Apparently, they did not. And so another ounce of hatred for the University of Chicago Alumni Association got poured, and slammed down, by your pal Frankie.

Nevertheless, I'd like to thank that nerd. Had he fulfilled his obligation, I might still be in Minneapolis.

Thank you, nerd.

And to the University of Chicago Alumni Association, I add, "Get with it!"