Friday, February 29, 2008

Guilty Pleasure

The Leader of the Dave Clark Five is dead, but Dick Clark continues his reign of undying elderly terror.

I always thought the Dave Clark Five had a very stripped-down basic sound that was more influential than it was given credit for.

Thursday, February 28, 2008


In order to keep one step ahead of the Elderly Menace, I am augmenting Positively Unemployed with a Twitter version that allows for much faster, but shorter, updates.
Feel free to check it out and subscribe.

The link is under the Links section, to the right.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Old Man Huggies

Seriously, John McCain. Now you're either lying or having one senior moment after another.

This is the best the Republicans have?

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Echoes of Howard Beale

Not going to show the filth directly on my blog, but suffice it to say that Fox News is as deaf as it is stupid.

Quick note

1. I really thought my readers would find Wilford Brimley a lot scarier than Emperor Palpatine. It's good to see, though, that Old Man Huggies still is able to scare.

2. I was at a dinner at an expensive restaurant last night, and somebody in my party wound up on the floor of the bathroom. It was not me. Am I really growing up?

Monday, February 18, 2008


I don't even know where to begin in describing how wrong this is.
HOUSTON, Texas (AP) -- The youth minister who confessed to a 1994 killing is being widely forgiven by members of his former congregation, who say they admire his courage in finally surrendering to police.

"Courage." Yes, they used that word.

During Sunday's service at the 800-member Elim Church, congregants praised the recently ordained Inman as a born-again role model taking responsibility for his sin.

"He's a hero, really," said Kelley Graham, 24. "I don't know how many people would do what he did. The Bible says you just need to confess to God. Calvin took an extra step."

No, Kelley, Calvin took a life. Could have been your dad. Could have been your brother. Would you still call him a "hero" then?
"Hero." Christ, make it stop.

Let's not forget what he is admitting to.

Inman went to authorities on February 5 and admitted that he stabbed Iqbal Ahmed, 64, nearly 14 years ago in suburban Pasadena.

And the butchering of once meaningful words continues:

Robin Thac said her 17-year-old son was active in the youth group that Inman led.

"I am thrilled my son has a role model to accept responsibility the way Calvin has," Thac said. "There are way too many men who don't accept responsibility."

This is one of my problems with Christianity in America. For these small-minded deluded people, all that matters is THEIR experiences and feelings. Had this criminal not wriggled his way into THEIR life, they would not be calling him a hero. He'd just be some criminal that they hope would get caught. If they thought murderers were heroes, and confessors were courageous, I guess Texas wouldn't have the death penalty, would it?

Mr. Ahmed's family has undoubtedly gone through hell for 14 years. Whether they forgive this criminal or not, I don't know. All I know is that as a member of society, I hope this guy rots quietly away. And I hope that when Judgement Day comes, these Christians are judged by the company they've kept.

Happy Michael Douglas Day!

I know it's President's Day, but if Dub-yuh can change the name of MY birthday to "Loyalty Day," I can do the same to him. Freedom's messy, AND on the march!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Magic Sam

I think with a lot of blues records, if you listen to the albums over and over, you miss half of what's going on. The blues is a musical form that can only be fully appreciated by being in front of the band (usually with an Old Style and a Marlboro, if memory holds...).

Back in the day, when ol' Frankie Machine was a little sprout committing acts of petty mischief, record companies started re-issuing their back-catalogs for the first time in my life, so you could walk into a good record store and get stuff like Charlie Patton's complete recordings on CD. My friends thought I was weird when I bought Robert Johnson's boxed set, or tried to emulate Elmore James' sound (and this is true) by dropping a microphone into the soundhole of an old Harmony guitar and running the signal through the speakers on a late-1970s stereo system. The resultant thundering "Dust My Broom" riff lowered property values in the neighborhood for months.

Note to the White Stripes: You stole my idea. You too, Black Keys.

In much the same way, YouTube allows a new bunch of shabby teenagers to see these greats without dropping lots of money. This is a great thing. I love it. Technology will always find a way to put music by guys like Magic Sam into the hands of white kids.

Thursday, February 14, 2008


Old Man Huggies, take note!

That Comics Curmudgeon hit that one out of the park.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Old Man Huggies

John McCain lays down some old school beatz.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Quick U of C story

I know I haven't done a U of C alumni association hatedown in a while, so I'll scratch your itch.

A while back, in that horrible moldy wormbucket of a town called Minneapolis, I interviewed for a job.
I really needed it, because I had just found out how truly Minneapolis sucks, and my current job was the embodiment of that suckitude. I lied to my boss about having a doctor appointment, put on my best suit, dusted off the U of C portfolio and put forth a killer interview.
One of the interviewers was a charming gentleman who seemed to like me, and was (rightfully) impressed by my resume and demeanor.
Jack, I smoked that interview. I walked out thinking nobody could have done better than I had just done.
As with all things we are sure of in life, I got denied. Which sent me into even greater cursing of Minneapolis and its pig-loving natives.
Well, I did some random email browsing today, going through ol' Frankie Machine's files, and looked up the fellow's name.
It turns out he was a U of C alum.
Doesn't he know that as a fellow Maroon, he needs to hook up all alum in moments of desperation? Didn't the alumni association tell him he owes it to his brethren to give freely of aid and connections? Apparently, they did not. And so another ounce of hatred for the University of Chicago Alumni Association got poured, and slammed down, by your pal Frankie.

Nevertheless, I'd like to thank that nerd. Had he fulfilled his obligation, I might still be in Minneapolis.

Thank you, nerd.

And to the University of Chicago Alumni Association, I add, "Get with it!"

Monday, February 04, 2008

Your opinion is needed.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Old Man Huggies Strikes Back!

This is what we're up against, fans. John McCain is going to be that hardest old person to beat, but we can do it.

All this explains the ferocity of the continued resistance to McCain among conservative leaders. Rush Limbaugh has served as a spokesman for their cause. On his radio show Wednesday, Limbaugh excoriated those who "pretend that Sen. McCain is the choice of conservatives when exit poll data from every primary state show just the opposite."

"He is not the choice of conservatives, as opposed to the choice of the Republican establishment — and that distinction is key," Limbaugh declared. "The Republican establishment, which has long sought to rid the party of conservative influence since Reagan, is feeling a victory today as well as our friends in the media."

He's an old person who conservatives don't like. It's an interesting strategy for Old Man Huggies, making me seem to agree with those who I loathe. I don't buy it. Those conservatives will vote for him just the same in the general election. So don't be fooled by Old Man Huggies' gambit. This is just proving how wily is the Elderly Menace.