I gave my old skates to my brother. He promptly got a wooden apple crate from the grocer, nailed a few pieces of wood to it and made a scooter using the old skates for the wheels. As a finishing touch, he nailed two tin cans to the front of the scooter for “headlights” and went rattling down the street on this noisy vehicle.
Although the scooter was supposed to be off-limits to me, I’d sneak it out of the backyard when my brother wasn’t home and join the other kids, mostly boys, in the fleet of apple-crate scooters racing up and down the neighborhood streets.
The Elderly Menace tells stories like this, then expects us to listen. Apple-crate scooters....zzzzz. The most telling part of this story is that the scooter was supposed to be "off-limits" to her. Most normal children would take a look at a contraption like that, with its tin can headlights, and soil themselves from laughing too much. Not the author. She had to be parentally forbidden from pushing it up and down the street. And these were what are now known as "the good old days." Do those sound like good times to you?