Dear Old Man Huggies

I hope you get a lot of rest after staying up so late to give your little speech.
Because tomorrow, you have a tough enemy waiting for you: Frankie Machine, Sr.
That's right, my father is volunteering for the Obama campaign.
Give up now.

Here's how tough my Pops is:
1. He didn't get a fancy pants education at Episcopal High School. He learned to read and write in a one-room schoolhouse. He was teaching in that one-room school house at age 10. By age 12, that one-room schoolhouse had grown and expanded and is now called Yale.

2. As a two-year old (!) he tried to stow away in his uncle's Navy seabag. There was a war on, you know. When the Japanese heard about this, they surrendered.

3. He has lived his entire life in the wilds of Michigan. I'd like to see you do that.

Frankie Machine, Sr. is the man you pretend to be. He didn't cheat on his wife, or abandon his kids, or crash airplanes. He actually goes to church every Sunday.

And you've made him very, very angry.

Say your prayers, John McCain.