Dear People of Alaska:

Love your state's natural beauty. I hope to fish there one day, and maybe even see a grizzly. I saw a moose last time I was there. Pretty amazing state.

But if you are of such an attitude that you live in Alaska to get away from the lower 48, or escape civilization, or try yourself against the wild, fine. If you're such a fiercely independent, state-of-nature dwelling bunch of folks, who just want to be left alone by the evil federal government, I'm sure you won't mind my advice to you:

Shut up and don't vote in the national elections.
Send us back all the money we've sent north over the years.
Stop sending us your corrupt politicians.

We've got some big challenges in this country. We don't have time for your attitude.

Sincerely,

Frankie Machine