Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Sorry I'm late

I took Monday off because it was Monday.

Unfunny Comic Strip of the Day
Just what we need. Another damn talking dog.

Litigious U of C alum of the day
Nerdfight!

It may come as a shock to you that the elderly now have blogs. I was alerted to this by an article in The New York Times, a paper known for its pro-elderly bias. So I looked at one by an old man I'll call "Gramps," and strangely felt as though I were visiting a smelly old folks home. I quote:
Here is what Penny recommends to ease the discomfort of a cold. Before going to bed at night, rub a lot of Vick's vapor rub on your feet and put on a pair of sweat sox. Then rub Vick's on your chest and neck. Put a little Mentholatum (it is gentler than Vick's) under your nose to help clear the nostrils. This may not speed recovery from the cold, but it can provide a little relief.

Along with that, she advises drinking a lot of water. And use Puffs tissues. They are softer than other tissues and don't rub the nose quite as raw.

Now add Pete's remedy to this and you are set. Pour a couple of ounces of bourbon in a glass, add a cube of sugar, a squeeeze of lemon juice - then add four ounces of water. Heat and drink. It may not cure, but you will surely feel better right away. In fact you don't have to have a cold to enjoy this.


84 years of life, and the best joke Gramps can make from those years of experience is a booze joke. Well, I'm glad to see my Social Security money's being spent to keep Gramps in fine joke telling form. And it wouldn't be a visit to a smelly old folks home without a meandering story that goes nowhere. And Gramps does not disappoint:

How many of you remember the orange crates? When I was a kid the groceries used to be delivered in boxes that had been used to ship oranges. These boxes were maybe three feet long and about 18" wide. The sides of the boxes were thin strips of wood - the ends soldi wood. And the boxes were bisected by a sturdy divider panel of wood. The ends of the boxes carried a coloful brand marking.

These boxes had many lives. Young people without much money used them as book cases. We kids made vehicles from them, taking the axles and wheels from our coaster wagons. Or the tiny kids just climbed in them and the boxes became whatever their imagination dictated.

If there was no other use for them, they were broken down and used for kindling to start furnace fires. This was in the coal furnace days.

We also remember that flour used to come in cloth sacks. These empty sacks were washed used as dish towels or cleaning rags.

And here is a relatied thought from Penny. The kitchen or pantry used to have a built-in metal bin for flour. When you pulled the handle, it leaned out so flour could be dipped out or poured in. Penny remembers asking her Mom why the bin was so big. The answer was that flour was used in many things so she had to keep a lot in stock.

And does anyone remember the little tin containers for maple syrup? The brand was Log Cabin maple syrup and the containers were shaped like a little cabin. They, too, had an afterlife as toys.


Well, I'm done here. See all of you tomorrow.

4 comments:

sandra said...

hiya,
Im an elderly (well 58) nearly an elderly blogger,new today, and I think it's brilliant, I dont know half of it yet but Im determined to find out.
I like reading all the different blogs from people,it's very interesting much better than the telly, my husband watches telly all day, he's not into computers, im on it every available moment.
He bought me this pc for xmas, not a top of the range, but suits me fine and my son pays monthly for the broadband, I think im very lucky although my husband does'nt like me on it all the time but i cant help it, there's so much to do and see on hear surf till you drop

Anonymous said...

Let me guess - you are certainly less than 30 and may well be less than 20. Believe me it shows.

Anonymous said...

The first post certainly smells of the elderly. It is a long, rambling, needy, and largely nonsensical comment. As for the second post – I agree. Frankie Machine is of the younger lot; he is vibrant, energetic, and not in need of dentures.

Frankie Machine said...

Dear anonymous:
Your saying I am certainly younger than 30 is the best compliment I've had since I got out of jail. Thank you.