Saturday, October 28, 2006

The elderly menace

In the words of Bono:
How long
how long must we sing this song?

Elderly driver strikes three churchgoers
Maine State Police Trooper Luke Cunningham said Carleen Murphy, 74, of Stockton Springs, her granddaughter, Michelle Gray, 24, of Stockton Springs, and Alberta Lawry, 69, of Deer Isle, were all hit as they walked toward the church, by a Toyota Corolla, being driven by Pearl Seekins, 84, of Searsport.

Yank her license and put her in old person jail, I say.

Hey, there's a business idea: old person jail. I'm going to pitch that to the government. See if I can get some sweet sweet tax dollars to build a minimum-security prison for old people who attack indiscriminately with their cars.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I bet you didnt even think that it may not have been her fault...but guess what it wasnt, it was a malfunction with her brakes, you know how I know because the woman driving the car was my great grandmother so before you go a say throw her in jail think about if that was one of you family members.

B-Licious said...

That's heavy, anonymous. However, you missed a couple of apostrophes in your post (and there are a couple of run-on sentences).

But be careful, Frankie, because the elderly menace might be able to smuggle cars into a minimum security prison. They would certainly use them to do violence to each other.

I have a better idea: cordone off several thousand acres in the barren midwest and let crash-happy old people prey on each other (in their cars) like the vultures they are.

Frankie Machine said...

Dear Anonymous
I want to be clear. I never said "Throw her in jail." I said "Put her in old person jail." The difference is that I have yet to build old person jail.
Next, I worry about a family that makes its elderly members drive to church alone. She is 84 years old! Somebody couldn't go to church with her? Does anyone else go to church, or is she the only member of your family who doesn't hate God?
Finally, I am insulted that you ask me to imagine a member of my family running down three people. I would encourage you to worry about the three people who were injured in this vehicular onslaught. Although, maybe this event will cause more people to think about the elderly menace, and get legislation enacted that yanks old people's licenses at a certain age. Also in this legislation would be a provision for old person jail.
B-licious's plan is a visionary idea, and one that I intend to implement when I become President.

Anonymous said...

to sum it up all i can say is you have the mentality of a democrat and it's people like you that have no morals - good luck buying a gun to defend yourself against the middle easters.