Nerdapalooza. Poindexter-on-Avon. Nerdlingers' Ball. Call it what you will, it was a bogus waste of my ill-earned money. Here is what it looked like once you got through "security":
Two conversations stood out, and I transcribe them here, so that you can share in my pain:
[FRIDAY NIGHT, at a reunion party at some trendy sushi restaurant]
Mrs. Machine: I'm going to talk to some people.
Me: Alright. [Orders a complimentary beer. Takes the first delicious taste. Starts composing witticisms in head].
Two minutes elapse. Mrs. Machine returns.
Mrs. Machine: I tried to be social with those girls over there.
Me: How'd that work out for ya?
Mrs. Machine: Yeah.
FINIS
[SATURDAY NIGHT, at the reunion held in the gym]
Mrs. Machine wraps up some conversation with a woman from the class of OLD. Leaves for some coffee. Which you need in order to speak with old alumni.
Me: Smart kid, huh?
Old Alumna: Ha ha!
Me: She didn't go here.
Old Alumna:...
Me: Where did your husband go to college?
Old Alumna: The University of Michigan.
Me: Woo-hoo! U of M! So he has social skills!
Old Alumna:...
FINIS.
All in all, I did not get thrown in jail or "talked to." I had a great time seeing my old chums, retelling old running jokes and creating new ones. I even made it to the track to drink and play the ponies. Outside of the U of C events, it was a blast and a much needed rest before the madness rolls back in.
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