Dear CNN:

Are you really this gullible?

Shoot. If you're going to cover two Georgia hicks* claiming they have a Bigfoot corpse, I'll report the news. You know, stuff that has actually happened.

Ahem....

Our Lead Story: A senile old man is trying to be president of the United States.
Next Story: The United States is fighting two frikkin' wars.
In Financial News: We. Are. Boned.
Finally, in Sports: Why do you care about sports at a time like this? Old Man Huggies is promising 100 years in Iraq!

If a press conference is all it takes to get your attention, then maybe you should actually read what's on it before you send reporters. Or do some research. I found that video below in thirty seconds, and maybe I'm some sort of psychic, but I thought it was pretty clear they were making this crap up.

I would like to take this opportunity to tell you I have a leprechaun in captivity. I have him locked up under the sink in my apartment. Could you send a reporter and cameraman over? Quick. He's beginning to claw his way out. Great. I'll be taking questions.

You idiots. You make those two Georgia hicks look like Einstein.


* I am still not convinced one of them was not Andy Kaufman.