Minnesota Sucks

And here's another reason. It's Sunday.
There's a foot of snow on the ground, it's still coming down, and the need for a beer run is approaching.
I refuse to entertain myself with Garrison Keillor's latest column o' smugness.
There is a liquor store a block away, but I would have to trudge through some weak-ass snow to get there. No problem. In my Chicago days, I was known to make longer hikes though worse weather. To a bar, or a liquor store, or Walgreens (yes, that's how old I am. I remember when Walgreens sold beer). Why, there was this one time...
Of course, that was because Chicago wasn't ready for Prohibition. Chicago, of course, being a real city.
Minnesota, on the other hand, laid down for the Temperance Unit like a beaten dog. Goddamn Lutherans.
Here's a good explanation of why I am so angry, despite the fact that I have three bottles of Tommy Knocker brew in the fridge.
To highlight why Minnesota sucks, especially today:
1. The 18th Amendment was introduced by a Minnesota lawmaker.
2. You can't buy alcohol on Sunday in Minnesota
3. The only beer you can buy in grocery stores is 3.2 beer.

This is why Minnesota can never redeem itself in my eyes.