Regional Stereotypes

a poem
by Frankie Machine


(ahem...)

If I ever hear people say New Yorkers are the rudest,
If somebody ever tells me Southerners are racist
or lazy,
If somebody makes a joke in my presence about nutjob Californians,
or how bad Florida drivers are,
if somebody ever warns me about going to Texas,

I will put down my can of Hamm's
tell them not to judge people by the state they live in,
and how you haven't seen
rude
or racist and lazy
or looney
or dangerous behind the wheel
or inhuman,

till you've lived in Minnesota.


Thank you.